I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
