had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Is Oprah even human
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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