ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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