All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize