I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
