I hate your face
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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