im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
