I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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