Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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