somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
