Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
