it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
