I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Ketchup is God's man juice
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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