so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
