I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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