Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
