I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
