fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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