She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
