So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
