grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
