We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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