So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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