He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
