my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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