Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
