He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
