Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
