There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
