Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
