Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
