I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
