So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
