When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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