Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
