so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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