And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
