Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
