Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
