what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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