I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
