He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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