U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
