mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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