It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
