While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
