I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
is it fun? or sober?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
