Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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