Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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