u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
