another moral hangover. fuck.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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