if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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